Holding on when we should let go...

So, in the past few days, I've been wondering something.... Well, half wondering, half thinking about it....

See, any time I wonder something about someone else, I turn it in on myself. You know, even when the aforementioned situation tends to involve me anyway. Here goes...

So remember my post yesterday when I glossed over a conversation Brody (see: recent ex-boyfriend/now friend) and I had recently? Well, I've been thinking deeply on the ramifications of said conversation.

Especially yesterday when a wine-induced Brody texted me to try and continue our previous conversation.

If I can teach everyone here one thing in the whole world, maybe even more than anything Greek related, it's this: DO NOT DRUNK TEXT. That's right, it deserved all caps and italics. Seriously, spare yourself and the people you're texting. Everyone will be better off.

Anyway, our conversation was pretty much normal (pretty much normal, hahaha.... please) until his best friend, Trevor, started texting me as well. It was mostly normal at first, to the effect of "Bring us dessert for our Riesling." And I totally understand, Riesling is pretty much a dessert wine, after all. But I digress... My conversation with Trevor ventured into the realm of weird when he stated, "I've seen Brody most happy recently with you."

Couple this with Brody's statement that "Cause... On some basic level, you are mine and belong to me..." and you get my concern (albeit with a laugh, of course).

So here is what I've been wondering: is it possible for someone to end things and still want to be with you?

I know, it's kind of a nonsensical question. Clearly someone who initiated the breakup would not still want to be with the person they broke up with... That does not make sense... And, I mean, Brody has stated explicitly that he does not think we can work, mainly because he does not think he loves me... Which is so weird to me that words can't describe it.... Well, they can, but it goes into rambling.

I just find it really odd that someone could end a relationship over lack of love, and yet, still be holding on to that other person. You do too, right? Seriously, if someone here doesn't, please let me know and please explain to me how that works because I am at a loss.

An utter loss.

And then there are the added ramifications of if he apparently does still want to hold on to me, what for? As a backup? I am no one's backup. And further more, really it's just nonsensical.

My google research points me to the idea that maybe Brody wants me back... But that's not very Brody-like, so I don't really know.

And then all the while, I sit here and think, well it makes sense. Once things are ended, you pick up and move on.

But then I've been thinking about how I'm still holding on to Evan two years later... So who am I to talk? But then again, that was an Evan-initiated mutual breakup, so what do I know? Yeah, it still probably falls under holding on when we should let go... But I guess sometimes, letting go is hard...

Boys are complicated...